15 of the Funniest Christian Parody Twitter Accounts to Follow

140 characters is a terrible place for theological arguments—but an amazing place for humor. I often find myself laughing out loud (or trying to hide it) on Twitter when reading jokes, looking at memes, or seeing a chart that can vividly describe reality without words.

Below is a list of my 15 favorite funny Christian accounts to follow on Twitter and some of their best tweets. Chances are you’ve seen a few retweets from these accounts. If you have any to add, share a link and a sample tweet in the comments section.

Enjoy!

1. Church Curmudgeon (@ChrchCurmudgeon)

Catholics have more children; Protestants have more sects.

— Church Curmudgeon (@ChrchCurmudgeon) June 15, 2015

I'm just like Moses. I get angry when I show up and find people serving de caf.

— Church Curmudgeon (@ChrchCurmudgeon) July 20, 2015

If the feeding of the five thousand had been at the end of the book of Acts, it could have been done with bacon.

— Church Curmudgeon (@ChrchCurmudgeon) July 11, 2015

2. Legalist Lloyd (@LloydLegalist)

God puts some people in our lives to help us reach certain milestones and others to help give us certain kidney stones.

— Lloyd Legalist (@LloydLegalist) July 18, 2015

One benefit of following me on Twitter is the ongoing reminder that, even during your darkest days, someone cares. Not me, but someone.

— Lloyd Legalist (@LloydLegalist) July 15, 2015

We are awesome! pic.twitter.com/WsK3tWHMCB

— Lloyd Legalist (@LloydLegalist) July 8, 2015

3. Fake John Piper (@FakeJohnPiper)

Gonna need each of you to sow one small seed so I can rent a car to drive down and smack Creflo Dollar.

— fakejohnpiper (@fakejohnpiper) March 17, 2015

Chris Tomlin really puts me in the mood. I listen and I'm like "Awww, yeah. That's some disciple-making music right there."

— fakejohnpiper (@fakejohnpiper) July 22, 2013

JOURNAL ENTRY: Not being a pastor is tough. Extreme urge to start seashell collection. Must fight for joy.

— fakejohnpiper (@fakejohnpiper) June 3, 2015

Note: This account doesn’t appear to be as active as it once was.

(I’ll unmask the mastermind behind FJP: Jared Wilson. In case these three sample tweets don’t scratch your FJP itch, you might enjoy this.)

4. Hip Hop Augustine (@HipHopAugustine)

we the clay He the potter we the kids He the Father we thirst He the water hunger He the fodder He the finisher, starter hope of the martyr

— Augustine of Hiphop (@hiphopaugustine) May 26, 2015

put ya pride to the side if you wanna abide in the arms open wide: Christ crucified

— Augustine of Hiphop (@hiphopaugustine) July 8, 2015

death was like a prison till the Lord had risen the grave said No Exit till the Lord resurrexit

— Augustine of Hiphop (@hiphopaugustine) April 5, 2015

5. Bitter Blue Betty (@BitterBlueBetty)

Life Hint: Any conversation that starts with "I took this test on Facebook…" is not going to end well…

— BitterBlueBetty (@BitterBlueBetty) June 25, 2015

When you say "God is pruning you" to someone my age, it means something quite different, but with the same general effect.

— BitterBlueBetty (@BitterBlueBetty) June 1, 2015

Once had a friend named Joyce who died and her husband found a second wife named Joyce… He rejoiced. . .

— BitterBlueBetty (@BitterBlueBetty) April 9, 2015

6. Fake J.D. Greear (@FakeJDGreear)

It's firegrace, not fireworks.

— Fake J.D. Greear (@FakeJDGreear) July 5, 2015

"STOP POSTING YOUR STUPID OPINIONS ON FACEBOOK!!!" – people with stupid opinions on Facebook

— Fake J.D. Greear (@FakeJDGreear) June 30, 2015

I agree that your "Church Discipline Cheer" is catchy, but "2-4-6-8, who can we excommunicate?" sort of misses the point.

— Fake J.D. Greear (@FakeJDGreear) June 29, 2015

7. Christian Hipster (@ChristnHipster)

"how was the date?" "not good" "how so?" "i thought she was a proverbs 31 woman, turns out she's a proverbs 7 woman" "close one"

— Christian Hipster (@ChristnHipster) June 27, 2015

hey christian girl, i couldn't help but notice your heart is like the 10/40 window…unreached

— Christian Hipster (@ChristnHipster) July 21, 2015

earlier this summer i planted tomatoes and jalepenos but so far only weeds are growing, thanks adam

— Christian Hipster (@ChristnHipster) July 18, 2015

8. Celebrity Pastor (@CelebrityPastor)

You haven't done Easter until you've fired peeps at 120mph into your congregation.

— Celebrity Pastor (@CelebrityPastor) April 5, 2015

This is how I do baby dedications. #CircleOfLife pic.twitter.com/3QNrPZRQGW

— Celebrity Pastor (@CelebrityPastor) February 24, 2015

Just got the word "playa" tattooed on my neck. In Hebrew.

— Celebrity Pastor (@CelebrityPastor) June 17, 2014

9. Relevant Church Guy (@MrChurchGuy)

Public Service Announcement for Teenagers Going to Camp: Cologne, Perfume, and Deodorant are not proper substitutes for a shower with soap.

— Relevant Church Guy (@MrChurchGuy) June 22, 2015

Keep the worship leader humble. Make sure he leads songs for VBS.

— Relevant Church Guy (@MrChurchGuy) July 2, 2015

If Revelation was written now, the church names would be like: CrossPointe, Journey, Grace, Revolution, Discovery, 3Sixteen, and Celebration

— Relevant Church Guy (@MrChurchGuy) May 20, 2015

10. Hood Spurgeon (@HoodSpurgeon)

https://twitter.com/hoodspurgeon/status/619965263753015296

When you visit a church with expository preaching. pic.twitter.com/iv00Eoxf4u

— HOOD SPURGEON (@hoodspurgeon) June 16, 2015

When you hear someone talking about Jesus pic.twitter.com/1zmocizqEt

— HOOD SPURGEON (@hoodspurgeon) June 25, 2015

11. Back Row Believer (@BackRowOnline)

New Bible-Quoting Rule #1: You can't quote Matthew 7:1 (Judge not…) without quoting the entire chapter.

— The Back Row (@BackRowOnline) June 29, 2015

So, the choir can wear robes to church but I can't wear my Snuggie?

— The Back Row (@BackRowOnline) July 19, 2015

Apparently, Miracle Whip is just a condiment and doesn't heal blindness or diseases.

— The Back Row (@BackRowOnline) July 14, 2015

12. Anonymous Baptist (@AnonBaptist)

Thanks to a misprint, our Catholic friends might enjoy coming to our Vatican Bible School, next Monday – Friday.

— Anonymous Baptist (@anonbaptist) June 25, 2015

If church gets you riled up against gays, the ACLU, or democrats but leaves you ambivalent about Satan, you might be in the wrong church.

— Anonymous Baptist (@anonbaptist) May 31, 2015

Adults, just because you fit in with teenagers doesn't mean you're called to youth ministry. It could just mean you're immature.

— Anonymous Baptist (@anonbaptist) March 8, 2015

13. Rev. No Respect (@RevNoRespect)

I don't worry about being overweight. I'm perfect just how the lard made me.

— Unappreciated Pastor (@Rev_Norespect) June 27, 2015

There's gonna be a lot of surprised people when they get to heaven and the only thing trending is Jesus.

— Unappreciated Pastor (@Rev_Norespect) July 15, 2015

When he said "How's it feel to work one day a week?" I should've said "How's it feel to worship one day a week?"

— Unappreciated Pastor (@Rev_Norespect) July 16, 2015

14. St. AugOsteen (@StAugOsteen)

This, then, was the situation: the whole mass of the human race stood condemned, lying ruined and wallowing in evil. Be encouraged today.

— St. AugOsteen (@StAugOsteen) June 25, 2015

Every morning, declare, “Something good is going to happen to me today.” Every inordinate affection should bring its own punishment.

— St. AugOsteen (@StAugOsteen) July 21, 2015

Thus it was that the human race was bound in a just doom and all men were children of wrath. It’s easy to get discouraged.

— St. AugOsteen (@StAugOsteen) June 30, 2015

15. Coolvinism (@Coolvinism)

Ever hear a parent yell at a tee ball game, "It's ok, you're a winner!" But inside you're like, "No, Jimmy, you're totally depraved."

— Coolvinism (@coolvinism) June 3, 2015

If you don't recognize your Bible without an Instagram filter, you're doing it wrong.

— Coolvinism (@coolvinism) July 3, 2015

Did you know pirates are serious about their theology? They're Arrrrminians.

— Coolvinism (@coolvinism) July 11, 2015

Honorable Mention and the New Comer Award: @PastorBill15

Humbled and honored to be featured by @Leadership_Jnl as a godly example of pastoral social media presence. #blessed http://t.co/83iNWXNdTj

— Pastor Bill (@PastorBill15) July 14, 2015

Hit the 50 follower mark in less than a week. Can't believe the ways God has blessed my #socialmedia ministry. #solideogloria ☝️☝️☝️

— Pastor Bill (@PastorBill15) July 17, 2015

The number of Twitter followers I have has doubled today. My ministry is being observed by a great cloud of witnesses. #scripture

— Pastor Bill (@PastorBill15) July 14, 2015

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