• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Anchored in Christ

KevinHalloran.net

  • Home
  • About Me
    • Contact
  • Popular Posts
  • Speaking
  • Resources
    • Accessible Theology Book Series
    • 100+ Book Recommendations for Christians
    • 100+ of the Best Christian Biographies
    • 250+ Free Online Seminary Classes, Courses, Programs, and Book Recommendations
  • The Gospel
  • Español

Kevin / March 16, 2020

Marks of a Spiritually Abusive Leader from an Obscure New Testament Bible Character, Diotrephes

I’m grateful for God’s emphasis on both sound doctrine and sound living for Christian leaders. That’s why Paul commanded Timothy to watch his life and doctrine closely (1 Timothy 4:16)—a Christian leader needs to back up the message of God’s Holy Word with their holy lives.

Unfortunately, many examples exist of leaders who may have sound doctrine on paper, but fail to live it out—to the peril of their church and their church’s gospel witness. In the oft-neglected letter of 3 John, we hear about Diotrephes, a leader causing great harm for the church he serves. John writes to Gaius in 3 John 9–10:

I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority. So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us. And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers, and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church. 

From John’s description of Diotrephes, we see at least five marks of a spiritually abusive leader:

1. Selfish ambition

Diotrephes “likes to put himself first.” May that never be said of us! Selfish leaders who crave attention and adulation are fleshly leaders, for our calling isn’t to exalt ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord and we as His servants (2 Corinthians 4:5). We are to “do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than ourselves” (Philippians 2:4). When we push ourselves to the front of the line, we cut in front of Jesus and rob Him of His glory. Godly leaders are humble servants who humbly shepherd the flock, knowing God will hold them accountable and reward them (1 Peter 5:1–4).

2. Lacks respect for authority

Diotrephes did not acknowledge the apostolic authority of John or other leaders in the church. Rejecting the authority of God’s apostles is tantamount to rejecting God’s authority and trying to exert our own. These days many reject the apostolic authority by rejecting Scripture. Others reject God-given leaders of the church due to pride and selfishness. If you or anyone you know brushes off clear commands of Scripture for church life, the qualities of leadership found in 1 Timothy 3 or Titus 1, or directly undermines the words of a leader without Scriptural warrant, beware. You may have a Diotrephes on your hands.

3. Unjust accusations

Talking wicked nonsense is a serious charge as it reveals the lies and malicious intent of Diotrephes’ actions. Spouting unjust accusations can work like poison in the life of a congregation, turning friends against each other and causing them to choose sides and attack each other. Instead of letting harmful words do such damage, Jesus gave clear instructions in Matthew 18:15–20 of what to do if we have a problem with our brother or sister in church. This is especially crucial for leaders who serve as examples to the flock.

4. Lacks hospitality to those who differ

We don’t know why Diotrephes refused to welcome the traveling itinerant missionaries, but the letter makes it clear that he should have welcomed them. His selfish ambition and possible desire for power kept him from practicing Christian hospitality to his fellow laborers in Christ. There is clearly an issue between Diotrephes and John and the itinerant brothers. Instead of working to resolve conflict, Diotrephes digs his heels in and lets his “enemies” know the battle is on.

The “one anothers” in Scripture aren’t void if we have a disagreement (assuming it’s not a major theological difference), they exist to help us remember our identity as the one body of Christ by exhorting us to serve one another. If there are people you don’t welcome in your church, don’t play into the devil’s hands, but rather make every effort to reconcile and welcome them as Christ has welcomed you (Romans 15:7).

5. Creates division

Diotrephes not only refused to welcome the brothers, he makes sure others didn’t either. He also excommunicated those who disagree with him! This “my way or the highway mentality” may work in the business world, but it has no place in the leadership of a church. A church and her leaders are to work hard to “maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3).

The Point

In writing 3 John, John wants Gaius to understand God’s desire for leaders which is to model the truth and grace of the gospel in every action. The negative example of Diotrephes flies in the face of this. There is no room for selfish ambition, stirring division, and power grabs in the church.

Following his description of Diotrephes, John points to a positive example:

Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God. Demetrius has received a good testimony from everyone, and from the truth itself. We also add our testimony, and you know that our testimony is true. (11–12)

When abusive leaders discourage you, don’t be tempted to think there aren’t any good examples. There are many Demetriuses out there, each characterized by humility, godly discernment, and love. Follow them as they follow Christ.

Print Friendly, PDF & EmailPrint Friendly

Related Posts

  • 12 Characteristics of a True Christian12 Characteristics of a True Christian
  • 15 Books on the Holy Spirit for Christian Readers15 Books on the Holy Spirit for Christian Readers
  • What Happens When You Grieve the Holy SpiritWhat Happens When You Grieve the Holy Spirit
  • Holy Sexuality and the Gospel: Sex, Desire, and Relationships Shaped by God’s Grand Story Holy Sexuality and the Gospel: Sex, Desire, and Relationships Shaped by God’s Grand Story 
  • Working from Home for the Glory of GodWorking from Home for the Glory of God

Share this:

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • WhatsApp
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn
  • Print

Filed Under: Bible & Theology Tagged With: Diotrephes

Primary Sidebar

Let’s Connect

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Recent Posts

  • How to Pray When the Wicked Prosper: Wisdom from the Psalms
  • Top Links for January 2021
  • A Brief Review of Two Resources for Helping Anxious and Depressed Teens
  • What does it mean to abide in Jesus Christ?
  • My Top 10 Books of 2020
  • Together Through the Storms: Biblical Encouragements for Your Marriage When Life Hurts
  • Top Links for December 2020
  • 40+ Christian Books Releasing in 2021 to Keep on Your Radar
  • Recommended Links for October 2020
  • The Costly Results of an Impaired Prayer Life
My Tweets

Blog Sponsors

Blog Categories

Apologetics Bible & Theology Books & Reviews Christian Living Culture Evangelism Humor Leadership Life Links Marriage & Relationships Ministry Missions Prayer Quotes Resources Sermon Illustration Social Media & Technology Uncategorized Writing

Footer

About Me

I serve with Leadership Resources training pastors to preach God's Word with God's heart. I blog for the glory of God, to nourish the church, and to clarify my mind. Read More…

Let’s Connect!

Follow me on Twitter

Follow me on Instagram

Español

Sígueme en Facebook y Twitter o visita a mi blog.
   

FTC Disclosure of Material Connection: I sometimes share affiliate links, meaning if you make a purchase through a link, I make a small commission at no extra cost to you to cover blogging expenses.

Copyright © 2021 · Digital Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.